Okay, so tonight.. after what happened, I cried forever. Nobody was around, everyone after the initial shock seemed to still be able to laugh. I just couldn't stop crying, I felt diseased. Hardly anyone called me. I felt totally alone. I just sat in the Cannon center because I had to "work" tonight. I felt closer to President Hinckley than I do my own family. I can not express how much I loved him. I am so sad. I feel sick, honestly sick. I have not felt that way in so long, with the emails from my dad recently and my mother's birthday that I was not a part of yesterday, I feel as though I am living under a mound of sand. It's hard to breathe. I am writing this because life is awful and the earth is hard, with it's trials and with ultimate death....
but the Lord, He is good, and always has been and always will be.
He had to put in us a fear of death just so we would not want to kill ourselves to get to paradise, or at least not make us so homesick.
I know the church will not change, that never even occurred to me.
It's just I used to live in a world where a Prophet of God could not be found, that is until I believed in the restored gospel and He was the first one I ever knew. (and to many he is the only one they remember).
I took him for granted, I loved him and now he is gone. The Holy Ghost is a comforter and testifies each day to me that it is true and that the gospel with all it's marvelous blessings and wonders is real. I will be happy, I am happy. I will be fine always and can handle anything as long as I look to the Lord and know to what source I can go to for comfort and hope for Salvation. Not all the world knows this, what am I doing to help???
A reporter asked President Hinckley: "What will be your focus? What will be the theme of your administration?"
Instinctively, he answered, "Carry on. Yes. Our theme will be to carry on the great work which has been furthered by our predecessors."
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